The Last Lap


Swimming towards another shore
I 
pause to gaze at those behind.
Letting go was never easy
and the pain 
disguised as pleasure
was seductive.
How I cradled it between my 
breasts
pretending my yearning sighs
were of contentment.
How I studied 
our strokes
as we moved through the muck
only to discover
I'd been 
swimming alone.

Surfacing
I find you bobbing
like a piece of dead 
wood
surrounded by those
who fitfully grasp
your slippery edges.
It is not 
you I mourn
in crossing
but the loss of kinship
with the drowning.